


and neither have i wings to fly

by joanwatsvn



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Gen, Missing Scene, neither of them asked for this but they're doing their best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 03:54:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10153097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joanwatsvn/pseuds/joanwatsvn
Summary: here’s a list of things kuwei can’t stand, in order.1. damp tombs in miserable graveyards with a group of teenage criminals for company.2. being spoken to, or about, like he doesn’t exist past the rare moments when one of the others deigns to address him, or give him something to do.3. wylan van eck, in particular, talking to him like that.because really, what the hell does wylan know about it?prompt: wylan, kuwei, “you’re too young to hate the world”





	

**Author's Note:**

> written for the prompt "you're too young to hate the world" with wylan and kuwei. this takes place roughly around the start of ck, not long before they get inej back, and somehow ended up as an outlet for my many, many feelings about kuwei. and these two generally.

Here’s a list of things Kuwei can’t stand, in order.

  1. Damp tombs in miserable graveyards with a group of teenage criminals for company.
  2. Being spoken to, or _about_ , like he doesn’t exist past the rare moments when one of the others deigns to address him, or give him something to do.
  3. Wylan van Eck, in particular, talking to him like that.  



Because really, what the hell does Wylan know about it?  

Kuwei’s life is increasingly turning into a series of being taken from one place to the next, hidden away until someone decides he’s of more use elsewhere, and the whole thing starts over, _ad infinitum._ He’s tired of it.  Tired of feeling like a lost piece of a puzzle instead of a person, tired of being looked at and looked over and not seen.  And saints help him, he’s tired of being grudgingly kept like a deliberate inconvenience in places he didn’t ask to be.  

It’s tempting to say he wants to go home, but _home_ is a foreign concept, somewhere that’s supposed to feel safe and good but he’d sooner die than be taken back to Shu Han, and Kuwei wishes he had any kind of home to return to at all instead of just more places to hide.   _Ho_ _me_ died with his father.  He watched it get shot.  Any remaining point of safety, of stability, bled to death in Ahmrat Jen.  It’s exhausting and lonely and he can’t remember what it’s like to _not_ feel scared, so if he wants to waste time being sullen and moody and pushing boundaries just to see if he _can_ , then it’s absolutely none of Wylan’s business.

Here’s another thing Kuwei can’t stand: Wylan van Eck, talking to him like that, with his voice and Kuwei’s face.  What kind of cosmic joke is _that_?  

They’re supposed to be going over the chemistry, once again, for the as-yet-unnamed weevil.  Progress is frustratingly slow, but it’s preferable by far to listening to Wylan pretend he has any idea what he’s talking about.

“You are too young to be so condescending.”  Kuwei doesn’t look up as he speaks, keeps his eyes fixed on the page in front of him and hopes that’s the end of the conversation.  Of course, because this is his life now, he’s not that lucky.

Wylan sighs, pushing their work to one side. “I’m not trying to be condescending.”

 _It comes to you naturally, then._ He’s not trying to start an argument.  He knows Wylan didn’t mean anything by it.  But, see above, so Kuwei will take it how he damn pleases.  It’s about the only control he has over anything, these days, but small victories are better than none.  Chemical formulas scribbled in his notebooks.  The ability to say _no_ even when there’s no choice but to ultimately say _yes._

There are Shu warships in the harbour.  People in the Stadhall, this very minute, having followed rumours of _parem_ (of Kuwei’s own unlikely liberation) to Ketterdam.  Everything feels very cold.  The world is closing in on him.  

Homesickness is a pointless feeling when there’s nowhere left to think of as home, wasn’t anywhere in the first place.  Still, if he has to name the feeling, homesickness is close enough.  A longing for familiarity, for the brush of his father’s hand through his hair or the stray cat that used to sit outside their front door.  

Anything.  

“Let’s take a break from this,” Wylan says, and Kuwei wordlessly gathers up the notebooks he’s been working from and moves to the other end of the tomb, flopping down in the corner.  he can feel Wylan’s eyes on him the whole time.  Looking up, though, would mean having to look back at himself staring at _him_ , which Kuwei doesn’t want to deal with in the slightest, so he doesn’t.  

He starts flicking through his journal instead.  There’s nothing much to write, less he wants to read, but it gives him something to do.  

The tomb is spacious, as far as tombs go, but with all of them inside, it often feels crowded. It’s not often Kuwei actually finds himself _wanting_ everyone to be there, but everyone, it appears, has jobs to do _outside_ , which leaves him and Wylan and the work they’re not doing.

People and crowdedness would be preferable, he thinks.  

Or this would be alright, if only Wylan could go back to ignoring him, because now he just feels more on edge than he did before.  Silences shouldn’t be this _loud._

“This must be strange for you too, huh?”

…. _Fi_ _ne._ Looking up to see himself on the other side of the room is exactly as disconcerting as Kuwei knew it would be, but apparently, this is just how the day’s going to go.  There’s nothing much to say to that, though, so he shrugs and fixes his eyes on a spot somewhere behind Wylan’s head.  

Wylan looks every bit as uncomfortable with the conversation as Kuwei feels, but for reasons unknown, decides to keep going. “We’re working to get this fixed as soon as we can.  Once the weevil’s working, we’ll get Inej back, and you can go–”

“–to Ravka.”  Not to Novyi Zem or the Southern Colonies.  Not forever, anyway.  Logically, Kuwei knows his options for leaving Ketterdam are the Southern Colonies or nothing.  But still, one day… it’s one thing he’s not willing to give up on yet.  

Wylan knows what Kaz said as well as Kuwei does, but he doesn’t argue the point.  Only offers an uncertain “It’s for the best.”

Sure it is.  

Kuwei’s getting tired of everyone else deciding that for him.

He can’t stop thinking about those Shu warships, the _drüskelle_ contingent, about every other reason he can’t step outside the tomb and a choice between either death or being shipped off to some other unfamiliar place devoid of friends or allies.  Or, worse, to somewhere familiar, full of enemies.  

It had seemed just bearable when his father was alive.  Now there’s no point of reference, no clear way forward, just…. whatever this is.  

“You’ll be safe,” Wylan continues, and _safety_ is as much a foreign concept as _home_ but if it exists, Kuwei thinks it might look an awful lot like a _parem_ antidote.  It might look something like Ravka.  

Go somewhere.  Start over.   _A_ _d infinitum._

Kuwei stands, walks back over to the table.  Picks up the small vial that’s supposed to bring down the Van Eck empire and holds it up to the dim light. “I think I know how we can refine this.  Maybe… tell me what you were saying earlier?”

It’s a poor distraction, but it refocuses the conversation to the task at hand and Wylan doesn’t protest.  By the time Kaz and the others return, they’re actually somewhere close to a solution.

At least for the weevil.

The rest can come later.

**Author's Note:**

> come and yell at me on tumblr @helvr. massive thank you to abi @pippims for boosting my ego when i was sitting here wondering what the hell i wrote, and y'all should definitely check out her writing because it's amazing (and she's a consistent source of support for mine!)


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